Internet dating or singles bar

by Sue Bishop

Generally speaking, women will gladly support a single friend by accompanying her on a shopping expedition, drink in a bar, a nice meal, or a trip to the cinema. Not necessarily to meet a partner but just to socialise. Many single men I have spoken to say their mates neglect them when it comes to going out unless there’s a hobby involved. If the mate’s married, his wife would definitely have reservations about him going out with a single friend to a nightclub or bar. So how does the single man go about meeting women if “the lads nights out” are few and far between? It’s difficult to meet women if the occasion is centred around snooker, darts or a few pints of lager and a curry.

Internet dating websites come into their own for single men and women. The choice of internet dating websites is great and the number of available partners never ending. It can all be carried out in the privacy of your own home (or more commonly at work so long as no one is looking over your shoulder). Your mates need never know and if they spot your photograph on the website, it means they are eyeing up the opposition too are also looking for a partner.

There is pressure to meet someone on those precious nights out. And some friends are none too happy being left on their own while you chat, dance or go off to buy a drink for the person you are hoping to swap phone numbers with at the end of the night. With internet dating, the time spent searching and replying to messages is convenient to you. More importantly, you get some important facts about the person “up front”. You may even narrow down your choice to find someone who shares your interests and beliefs. We have all experienced the shock of finding out we are incompatible a few dates down the line.

“One of the bonuses about internet dating for me,” says Sarah aged 45 “is that I can steer clear of men who will find my 4 children under 14 a problem.” When I meet someone in a nightclub, I don’t want to get that embarrassing silence or look of shock when we ask about each other’s kids. I should be getting used to it by now, but it’s still upsetting.”

Other subtle prejudices are overcome by using niche dating websites like FriendsBigandBeautiful.com. When Diane found herself on the single scene after 14 years of marriage, she thought that finding a man to love her for herself would be straight forward. “What I didn’t bargain for was men stating they wanted a slim woman. I’ve always been a generous size and it wasn’t a problem first time round,” said Diane. “With FriendsBigandBeautiful you know what you’re getting and some men actually prefer a cuddly woman like me.”

They say that finding your soul mate is fate, but sadly for most of us finding the right one is more of a numbers game. Unless you have the opportunities, resources and time to go out regularly in search of love, internet dating may be a better solution. So for all you would be daters, get yourself signed up, start searching and messaging.