Dear Amie

I recommend you enter the 'Britain's Next Plus Model' competition (as advertised in Just As Beautiful magazine).

Alternatively you can submit details to magazine for future modelling opportunities.  They did a big photoshoot last week with a well known style guru and there are many more opportunities like that coming up. 

Dear Agony Aunt

I'm suffering from back ache and one friend suggests it could be caused by my badly fitting bra.  I find it difficult to get a pretty bra in a size 48" GG (that's the size I've been wearing for the past 10 years).  Can you recommend a stylish bra for voluptous big backed women?

Georgi

Dear Georgi

Fantasie manufacture a stylish and sophisticated collection of lingerie called Elomi with bras ranging from 36" to 48" back and cup size C to H. 

I'm sure there will be something to suit you and although Fantasie are a UK company you can order via their website.

An article on correct bra fitting is featured on our homepage.

Agony Aunt

Dear Agony Aunt

Like everyone out there, I need to get healthy but the gym makes me feel inadequate and intimidated.  They all seem to know what they’re doing and the machines really don’t look man enough to cope with my size.  I’m 20 stone.  What I need is some privacy or working out with people who aren’t the body beautifuls.

Are there exclusive gyms for big people?

Phil

Dear Phil

Don't be discouraged and well done for taking a positive step forwards to becoming healthy.  Visit different gyms and fitness studios to find one that you feel comfortable working out in. 

If you want to work out with a personal trainer and can't afford the funds, consider joining online personal training. Your personal trainer will set up a workout for you. 

There are many exercises you can do at home with a fitness (swiss) ball and some hand weights.  Remember  that skipping, cycling and walking are all very good exercises that you can do outside of the gym and they're free.

Good luck and enjoy the new energetic you.

Agony Aunt

Dear Agony Aunt

I am recently divorced after 20 years of marriage. He didn't love me anymore because I gained weight.  I only have one comment about divorce.
 
"Do you know the most surprising thing about divorce? It doesn't actually kill you, like a bullet to the heart or a head-on car wreck. It should. When someone you've promised to cherish till death do you part, says "I never loved you," it should kill you instantly. You shouldn't have to wake up day after day after that, trying to understand how in the world you didn't know. The light just never went on, you know. I must have known, of course, but I was too scared to see the truth. Then fear just makes you so stupid."  It takes a part of you away for awhile never knowing if there is that special someone that can put it back.
 
I have tried this dating thing and have found out that most men are not sincere at all. They still want eye candy. Little do they know that little girl on his arm will run as soon as he gains some weight too.

Morgan 

Dear Morgan

You have certainly struck a chord with those who know only too well how shallow some partners and spouses become.  For your husband, I hope “what goes around, comes around”.  If he doesn’t want you for who you are inside, then he doesn’t deserve you.  Someone else will appreciate and love you. 

Good luck and keep searching, you’ll find your sincere man one day – he’s out there for sure.

Agony Aunt

Dear Agony Aunt

I feel that I cannot win.  I have tried hard to find a nice guy on dating sites and there just doesnt seem to be any around in Sydney, Australia.  I would love nothing better than to find someone to love.  What am I doing wrong?

Thank you, take care and we shall chat soon.

Lyn

You are not doing anything very wrong, BUT I suggest changing your profile name from "Lunaticlyn".  Although it shows you have a sense of humour - some guys may take it literally and be put off.

Your photograph is lovely and this gives you an advantage.  In your profile you come over as a very genuine and warm person.  Try adding some fun comments about yourself to enhance your profile.

I know that you have been proactive by sending messages as well as responding to them and this is good.  Why not make friends with women on the website who can introduce you to a male friend or relative?  Persevere and be patient a little longer and hopefully you will find a nice guy in Oz.  Remember that membership of Friends Big and Beautiful is free, so you have nothing to lose.

Good luck in your search Lyn and best wishes.

Agony Aunt

Dear Agony Aunt

I’m dreading New Years’ Eve.  My three closest friends are talking about new dresses for a ball this year.  I’d love to go out and buy a long dress but my biggest concern is - I don’t have a partner. 

My friends all have boyfriends and I don’t want to stand out for the wrong reasons.  When midnight strikes, I’ll have to wait around like some kind of gooseberry whilst they kiss their partners.  Then I’ll be sitting alone when they’re smooching to the slow dances at the end of the evening.  I’m seriously looking for an excuse to get out of it.  What do you suggest?

Bethany

Dear Agony Aunt

I’ve been dieting and exercising but still need to shift another 6lb to fit into the wedding dress of my dreams by December 23^rd.  I’m aware there are no quick fixes but is there any harm in having liposuction?

Julie

Dear Julie

First of all, persevere with eating healthily and keep up the exercise.  Planning a wedding can be stressful and the best way to overcome stress is to exercise.

You probably already know that liposuction is not available on the NHS as it’s considered a cosmetic procedure.  Liposuction works well at removing excess fat in certain areas for example on the tummy, hips or thighs.  Younger patients with good skin tone benefit most.  As a general rule the fat removed should be limited to just over three litres in one session.  Any increase may result in complications.

You should also be aware that it is difficult to get an overall smooth reduction of fat and symmetry. Some patients need a touch up procedure six months to a year after the initial surgery.

We hope you enjoy your wedding day, but more importantly that you are happy.

Dear Agony Aunt

I have been seeing a man off and on for over 15 months now. It was great at first but gradually as time has passed I find I am seeing less and less of him. He says its due to the long hours he works but I don't believe this, no one works 24/7!! Three times this week he has said he is going to come over, but has yet to turn up. He rang me on Sunday aft and said he'd be over 'later', he never showed nor gave any reason as to why, then he rang on Monday, said he'd had to work late and could he come over on Tues? I said ok, and, you guessed it, he never showed and again no explanation. He rang again yes afternoon (Thurs) and said he was only working for 3 hours today (Fri) so when he finished could he come over? Its now nearly 8pm, he didn't show and I've heard nothing from him! Do I say enough is enough, go find yourself another muppet? I know he likes me otherwise he wouldn't still be around, I just cant see why he keeps saying he is coming over then doesn't. I wondered was he checking up on me? Saying he was coming over to make sure I had no one else here, not that I would.

I just don't know what to do anymore. He has let me down so many times now, I just feel I need to get rid of him and find someone who will be reliable. What do you think?

Gill

Dear Gill

It sounds as though you have made up your mind and I think you really do need to move on and find someone reliable.  As a matter of courtesy, this man should apologise and offer an explanation if he lets you down.  As you have allowed him to treat you this way, he will think you have nothing better to do and that his behaviour is acceptable.  He is taking you for granted and you deserve more than this. 
 
If you are not happy in this relationship, perhaps it is time to confront him and move on. 
 
We wish you happiness in the future.

Dear Agony Aunt

For most of my life I have been overweight. It has made me very unhappy and I think this is why I cannot stay in a relationship. Over the past three years, I have lost almost 5 stone by sticking to a strict diet but my friend says that I have an eating disorder. I can’t say I am happier but I now feel more attractive. What does an eating disorder mean?

Claire

---

Dear Claire

Problems with food can begin when it is used to cope with those times when you are bored, anxious, angry, lonely, ashamed or sad. Food becomes a problem when it is used to help you to cope with painful situations or feelings, or to relieve stress perhaps without you even realising it. If this is how you deal with emotions and feelings and you are unhappy about it, then you should try to talk to someone you trust. Try not to bottle things up - this is not helpful to you or other people around you, it won’t make you feel any better and the problem is unlikely to go away.

Traumatic events can sometimes trigger an eating disorder: bereavement, being bullied or abused, an upheaval in the family (such as divorce), long term illness or concerns over sexuality. Someone with a long-term illness or disability - such as diabetes, depression, blindness or deafness - may also experience eating problems.

For more details, see our article on Eating Disorders.

Agony Aunt

Dear Agony Aunt

I would love to join a gym but I'm embarrassed about my size.  The more I stay in and worry, the more I comfort eat and I'm feeling miserable all the time.  How can I stop the vicious circle?

Jane

Thank you for highlighting a very common problem. You’re already on your way to breaking the vicious circle and there is no need to be embarrassed about your size. There will be all shapes and sizes at the gym.  Why don’t you get some moral support? If you haven't already got someone in mind, you can find a new friend who also wants to exercise from our website. Before you start any diet, ask your GP for a healthy eating plan.

Some form of regular exercise is important, but you must start off slowly at first. Joining a gym is an excellent idea. Everyone has one aim in common - to get healthy. You can exercise effectively outside of the gym. Walking briskly for say 30 minutes every day. Why not take the stairs rather than the lift?

Look out for our forthcoming article with Tips on How to Exercise at Home. You'll find that the exercise will not only burn calories, but will produce mood enhancing endorphins. Remember to drink lots of water.

Good luck, Jane, and we wish you success.